Kate is Great

This is Kate. She means everything to me. She means everything to all of us. She has been struggling at night since we moved here and she moved into her new room. She reverted back to waking up 4 times a night. At least. She will be a year old in a week and I am trying to wean her from nursing to a bottle. She is having none of it. NONE of it. She won't drink cold milk, warm milk, milk from a bottle, from a sippy cup. Won't have it. SO, since I have reverted back to having no remembrance of how to do anything baby, I have been asking all young moms around me. How do you wean a baby from nursing who won't drink milk? Especially one who is waking up every hour now expecting to get in my nice warm comfy bed and nurse to peaceful slumber? Tricky question for sure.

Pause: A word about being a mother for all of you young readers. There is nothing better than being a mom. It amazes me each time I have had a baby the sacredness of this gift. It amazes me that I have been able to sustain another human life for a full year through the workings of my own body. The intricacies of the human body in relation to childbirth and the whole milk factory gig it has going on, only point to one thing. There is a Creator of all things who has made a way for the human race to sustain itself and be sustained through families. I am so grateful for this. I am so grateful and a little sad as I wean Kate that I will never have the experience of nursing a baby again. Sacred moments that only a mother can understand.

SO....this leads me to last night. I had been weaning her down to 3 feedings a day instead of 4. And I told Brett that the only way I could see the night waking prob being solved was if he got up with her, but did not let her see me or our bed. She could wake up, but there was nothin' great happening at 2 in the morning. He agreed and I told him I'd be up supporting him awake anyway, just under my covers. Brett's a way good sport even though he knew it could be a long night. We knew from past experience that when she wakes up and we decide to let her cry, she can cry for a LONG time. It is supremely hard not to go in and get her, but have learned that it doesn't matter. She will cry until mom (me), feeds her.

This morning I woke at 4:26. She hadn't woken up. 4:52, wow I can't believe it. 5:20 where is she? From 5:20 on, I laid* awake. This is an experience which* every mother has had happen to her. Exactly like this. From 5:20 until 6:45 when she did finally awake, I went through scenario after scenario of walking in and finding she had died. What would I do? How would we live? Picturing the kids' reactions. Picturing life without her...her funeral. Did she have too many blankets? Could I have prevented it? Realizing that I love her so much that I couldn't enjoy the ONE night she slept through! I willed myself not to go in there, thinking that perhaps I would be less crazy if I waited it out. Finally at 6:43 I heard her little peep. I rushed in there. She was standing with her arms on the top of the side just smiling at me in her polka dot sleeper. There was nothing better than holding her this morning! I did nurse her, but not in my bed. No more in my bed :( I'll let you know how it goes.

Further Kate News: July 5th. The day Kate walked. She is walking. A week or so before b-day #1. Brett said, " I don't remember this at all with our other kids. Did they learn to walk?" That was funny.

*Grammar Nazi: laid is the past tense of both lay and lie.

*Grammar Nazi:I used 'which' instead of 'that', because I had already used 'this' at the beginning of the sentence.

*(Hi. This is Grammar Nazi. You've missed me huh?)