I heard a couple fighting today. Well, they didn't think they were fighting. I'm sure they thought they were "talking." I hate it when couples argue. 2nd to hearing a mother yell at a little child. That is downright painful for me to hear a mother say, "Tommy! Get OVER here! Right now. I'm not going to tell you again! Just wait until we get home!" Oh man, that almost does me in as I see that bad boy Tommy is 3 years old with big brown eyes quietly taking the verbal lashing. Really, it's the TONE. A mother could say the above with kindness and you know when they get home, Tommy's going to sit in a quiet chair for 3 minutes. It's when the TONE conveys that Tommy might get yelled at a lot. One time, my brother heard a mother yelling at her son for taking 2 pieces of bacon on a camping trip instead of one. The little guy didn't know it was wrong to do that first of all. Secondly, the mother followed the verbal outpouring with "You are so selfish!" Ouch.

So, this couple was at CVS pharmacy. The wife was getting her blood pressure taken. The husband was standing behind her. She was overweight, he a little scrawny thing. It came back 152 over 86. He yells, "That's high! That's high!" She barked back, "John, it is not! Get away from here and stop watching me! I don't do that to you!" He says as he walks away, "That's not good! I told you it would be high." "I'm doing it again!  The first one's never right, So just leave me alone." They went on and on about this and that never agreeing on anything.

Anyway, blah blah blah, but I silently listen and wonder if they are in complete misery living with one another. The TONE in their voices conveyed disgust, impatience, and I knew that if they talk like that to each other over a free blood pressure read, I can only imagine what their daily conversations are like when chatting about bills, sickness, etc.

One of my love languages is words of affirmation. I am extremely sensitive to words. Positive words keep me happy and floating for weeks and words of criticism bite more than they would probably to most people. My love language is not gifts. I mess up gifts ALL OF THE TIME! I'm so pathetic at gift giving. I don't know if I've ever given a really great gift. Other than maybe the gift of life. Or the gift of just being super awesome to live with :) Gifts frustrate me.

But words...I always admire couples who speak kindly to each other, who say thank you and can I get this for you and such. Today's "conversation" made me decide again that that will NOT be us at 50 or 60
or 70 or even 80. I've decided that it takes work to be kind. Not just to stay together, but to enjoy each other and treat each other well. Work and worth it.



How cute is this couple? I bet they don't argue very much. I also think his hand is huge. And I think he lost his pointer finger in the war, but that's beside the point.

Cute Boys

Brett's brothers at the NCAA tourney in Denver. Without him! OK, he was already gone somewhere, and couldn't go, but still... They got on a bunch of news shows and when Dave was interviewed on camera he froze, sputtering and pausing. Then he blurted out, "We drove through a BLIZZARD!!!" Something like that. So Dave.

Also, look at these three sharing a king bed.

Their story about this made me laugh so much. They thought they were getting 2 beds and a roll away. Instead, the only room left had 1 King for three grown men. The two on the end hugged the end getting no sleep and the one in the middle made them all sleep in full clothing. Come on, you're BROTHERS!! We could have fit 5 or 6 women on that bed and not even sisters, friends, and we'd have slept great! What's the big deal? (They are going to kill me for posting this one, but it's Brady's fault for always being so camera happy.)

That's it. Will laugh over this for a while..

Happy Wednesday everyone! I have been gone a while, and although my extended family wants details about my trip, I am not going to blog about it other than to say, is it technically a tender mercy when the movie shown on the flight home is the edited King's Speech that I have so wanted to see??? Colin Firth and I go way back--back to his Mr. Darcy days and I sooo wanted to support him in this new film on the flight home, with no baby to distract me. He was so happy that I could watch him conquer his speech impediment.

Also how wonderful is it to know Kate was safe, cared for, and kissed by Misty, Darcy and Kelly? It's kind of traumatic leaving those little guys. They wedge themselves around a mom's heart, thus making it a bit difficult I will say. But we did it, and Kate loved it! And I loved it!

Book Recommendation: UNBROKEN by the same author who wrote Seabiscuit. Amazing book about perseverance, miracles, and redemption. WWII. Great. It has made be think about what I am grateful for vs. what the POW's in WWII were grateful for. I finished and realized I am grateful for a house to be safe in. One where my family can eat, sleep, and be together. I don't have to own it. It doesn't have to be big or fancy. It's more than most of the world has. I am grateful that I am not living at a time and in a place where soldiers could come rip me from my home and kill me. Or the leader of my country isn't going to decide to bomb my village just because he can. I am grateful for my health. Being healthy has to be the 1st step on the survival ladder, before we can focus on every other thing. Grateful for my family, that I can be a mother and that I have a good husband who kind of likes me :) Finally, I am grateful I know where I came from, where I am going, and my testimony. That's it! I need nothing else. I don't want to long for anything else, be anyone else, look at other people's "else" and wish they were my "else." I'm grateful!

OK, I guess I have to post 2 pictures from the trip, because they are so cute!  We've always wanted to do it, and so we finally did. Kate keeps looking at these pictures completely confused like they are magic.

That's it I promise!

Things I'm thinking about:

It's weird how one week can seem tough and bleakish, and then after spending time with your husband and setting some goals, the next week is light, and full of hope. Routine and goals make me feel purpose.

It's good to live in California. I'm finally here.

Chocolate is delicious. Someone gave us little chocolate cupcakes with chocolate chips on the bottom of each one and cream cheese frosting on top. They were as good as anything I've bought in any cupcake store. And I've bought quite a few cupcakes.

Soda is poison. I learned that again from a nutritionist last week. The chemicals in diet soda are pure poison to your cells and creates toxidity and inflammation around your fat cells making it harder to get rid of them and making you bloated and acidic.

I wish my mom could stay another week. Everything seems right in the world when mom is here. She quietly helps around the house, with Kate. She goes with the flow. The first day back, we didn't go anywhere. She let me just get the trip laundry done and get completely unpacked and restocked on food. She is no stress and last night Ali said (without g'ma even around) "Mom, I like having grandma here. It  is so nice. Why can't she just stay longer?"

Kate turned to Maddie yesterday and said, "I like this song." All four words. We just went, well ok then! This morning, I swear she said "I don't like this room" as I tried to take her in her room to change her clothes after a bath. She wanted to stay naked, and really, I don't blame her. It just seems like in the last week, she's all of a sudden using lots of words together and it's kind of surprising all of us!

Everything coming up and everything I need to do in the next two months is making my head swim. Seriously. The mission stuff is, of course, the most overwhelming, I'll admit.

This post is so boring. I'm sorry. I have felt zero creativity in my writing for a while. I hope I get some back. e

Whitney Kofford and friends are here this week. Let's just say that she had a REALLY good time at the Price is Right today. An Unforgettable time. That's all I can legally say. Watch Price is Right on April 7th if you know Whitney. They are trying for the Ellen Show today.

Kate sings her ABCs just like this. We start with the little "Abc, abc..." and then I of course sing it just like India Arie, because in my past life I was a black gospel singer too. So, if you are ever listening to Kate sing the ABCs and you hear that little "abc, abc.." this is where it came from.

I am finding out new things about Spencer's mission every day. It is so fun! Here are some facts..

-It is the largest (land area) mission in the world. From one area of his mission to another can take 42 hours by train. These missionaries are on trains A LOT.
-Because the people in Siberia were banished here by past communist regimes for being religious, the result is a more religious people, and a happier people. They weren't under the thumb of communism bleakness as much. I keep hearing about how wonderful the people are in Siberia.
-His mission president will be brand new the same month as Spence and will serve the exact same two years as Spence. My friend's parents know him and say he is fun, dynamic, young, and will be great! Can you imagine being a 50ish couple with kids in college and getting called to Siberia?
-Spence will be in the MTC for 3 full months, because Russian is a TOUGH language! His friend Stephen keeps writing about how tired he is getting of the MTC food after 1 month. His friend Ben lost 10 pounds in the MTC. Hmm
-I've heard from many in Russia through different channels that Novosibirsk is a great mission.
-Here is a clip of the closest temple (Kyiv) that Maryn just happened to post on her blog. Thank you Maryn for posting that! I have watched it many times and cry every time. I have an instant love for these people! I've already forwarded it around, but if you haven't seen it, watch THIS.

Ok I'm packing for my trip with Brett tomorrow. How do I leave Kate? Agony over it! My girls are of course excited to get rid of us and get grandma to come stay. Partaaay! Especially because grandma will cook for them and make cookies (but watch out girls, sometimes there is no chocolate in them, only cranberries!! aaarrggghhh! I'm feeling the exclamation points today)

I am full of thanks today. Thank you to my friend Laurie and sis in law Darcy this week for supplying me with all of the information that has brought peace! Thank you to India Arie for singing the abcs so well. Thank you to Whitney for keeping us company this week. Thank you to Spencer for calling yesterday and talking to me for so long. Thank you to Sarah for starting a blog. Thank you to Brett for forcing me to go on a fun trip  that I am afraid to go on..Thank you to Parkway Grill in Pasadena for making that most delicious creme brulee dessert last night. Thank you to Southwest for being such a chill airline. Thank you to pajama pant makers everywhere. Thank you to down comforter companies everywhere. Thank you to Syd for being the best daughter ever, so responsible, so good to Kate. You're her favorite. Thank you to new bands only really cool people know about like Good Old War and for singing such tight harmonies. Thank you to musicians who tour. Thank you to Sis. Frandsen for letting me teach seminary last week and thank you to teenagers everywhere for just being at that magical trying time of life that is so fun to watch and be around. Thanks to oatmeal for making my stomach all warm. That's all. e

Russia Novosibirsk. May 18th.

My heart will forever be linked to this place and people. I am sending my oldest, my son there for 2 years. 2 1/2 months until he leaves..2 of which he will still be at BYU. 2 weeks at home. Although I feel an ache that only a mother can understand of missing my son, hearing his voice, seeing his smile, I feel a tremendous peace that Spencer isn't really my son. He is the Lord's son, my brother--one who I was privileged to be born just 22 years before and raise. He is now going to be "trained" in Russia and the Lord's purposes in his life I have yet to watch with excitement and love. Exciting! I can hardly think about anything else now. I have to cook dinner? But Russia... I have to still plan the R.S. Birthday party? But what about Russia? Can I do anything else but think about warm coats, socks, long johns? Thinking about Spencer's wisdom teeth and trips to the temple must share my head with Ali's homework, Sydney's book time, Kate's diaper rash, Maddie's ACT test, and Brett's work trip. How will this be possible? Won't BYU understand if you just need to come home now Spence? Find out, will you? The gospel of Jesus Christ is in its fullness upon the earth! If anyone can teach the freezing people of northern Russia, Elder Blake can!  I found out today that the missionaries of his mission call themselves THE SIBERIAN BATTALION. Sweet. It's such a blessing to our family already. I realize that all of the experiences of these young men, fresh at 19 years old, at the peak of their normal college, dating experience, are shaping experiences and we as families just get to watch it happen. I've watched it starting to happen with his friends, and now it will happen to him in the wide open spaces of Northern Russia. I am blessed!

I flew to SLC with Kate a few hours before the opening. We went to the temple and then opened the call at Misty's with Brett and girls on Skype.

As soon as Kate saw Bubba, well, you can see below.

We then went to Belnaps to read it to family and friends. When I walked in, Laura had many pictures of Spence in frames, so it would feel like home. That was such a kind gesture! That night at Misty's, completely sleepless for me. Tossing and turning dreaming about baboushkas and fur hats and their mail system and how soon May 18th suddenly seemed and on and on. I wondered if Spencer was asleep. Finally by morning, the peace came. The excitement. After a few hours of phone calls, I was on a plane again coming home. Whirlwind, but worth it!

Michaela with Misty and Elle. I wish I had been organized to take more pictures of everyone else. I am kicking myself. I didn't even get one picture with Spence. Oh well! Signing off to go wake up Maddie, make breakfast, make carpet cleaning appt., go to the grocery store, change Kate.....but Russia!!!