Ad: House for sale. Great neighbors and good schools. Special house with thousands of stories. The mice of 2000 are long gone. Ignore leaky roof. Ignore carpet stain in downstairs bedroom. Great playroom and the swing set in back yard may stay. Lovely culdesac with sunset views over the Great Salt Lake. Please make high offer soon. Family with children to add to the neighborhood a plus. Contact Erin Blake for this one in a million home. If she doesn't answer the phone, try her cell and she will answer if it is a)charged, b)not lost, c)on her d)a priority.

Thank you.

Ad: House wanted. Greater Los Angeles Area. Must be comfortable and affordable. Must have great neighbors and good schools. Playroom or pool desirable. Must be vacant soon. Freedom to change wall color important to future tenant. Close to a beach a plus. Please find Erin Blake this week to finalize. Thank you.

LAUREN

So Lauren is gone to Mexico. She left yesterday morning. As she was saying goodbye, I realized something significant was happening. It was one of those moments. When she comes home from Mexico in August, we will not be here across the street anymore. She knew this and was having a hard time. I could see my girls by the minute realizing this as well. I went into mommy mode and started saying, "It's not so bad! Come on guys! We'll see Lauren as much as we want! She can fly out!" Lauren kept saying, "I won't know Kate. She won't know me."

As I went to bed that night, I said to Brett, "You know, this is the end of an era. Lauren has been a part of this family since she was 10 years old...ten years." I could finally cry, because my girls were asleep. It was like I was losing my child in a way.

The reason we were so close to Lauren was not because of us. It was because of her. Lauren is the kind of girl who is so comfortable! She can talk to anyone, make friends with anyone. She can adapt to any situation and be fine. I cannot count how many times she has walked in through the garage or front door as one of my kids would. She was happy talking to me, or just being here with Sydney. We didn't have to entertain her. Ever. She was just here. She loved my kids. She did Sydney, Ali, and Maddie's hair, made up plays, and mostly entertained us with her stories. She had some stories. Most stories involved boys and if she should like them or not. I LOVED listening to her talk on about this or that. She has such a cute perspective on love and life!

She told my kids how it was. If they were acting snotty, she would just say, "you are being such a brat!" or "Erin, you need to put her in time out for that." She wouldn't be afraid to tease us. If we were on vacation, she used to come in our house and have a bowl of soup. She would tell boys that we were her family and that would confuse people. She had great fun with this.

I was her Laurel leader, which thinking back, was such great timing! I remember one girls camp, warning her to keep the conversation mellow and good in the cabin she shared with the new beehives. Ha! The next morning, they all had stories to tell about how Lauren and Emilee had started telling creepy, scary stories. It was so bad that they all had to sing hymns and say a prayer. Great! Under my watch.

Lauren was the biggest fan of Kate. She was there for her birth. While I was in a drug-induced blackout following my C section, Lauren and the fam were giving Kate a bath, holding her in a warm hospital blanket. She came over almost every day to just hold tiny human as she called her. She stole her at church. She kissed her and loved her.

I guess the weird thing is that the era of Lauren at every extended family gathering, at every important event in my kids lives, sleeping over, going on outings, and mostly just talking about life is going to change. It was a hard night for my girls, especially Sydney. I realize that Lauren has been here since Sydney was a baby. Sydney LOVES Lauren. Syd wrote Lauren the most heartbreaking "With Sympathy" card and gave it to her. Words like, although we will be apart, you'll be in my heart. That is what started the tears.

I love you Lauren!!!! We must must must make it a priority to keep you with us. You have my commitment to fly you to us whenever is needed!!! You have grown up. It was the perfect window to be there for each other, wasn't it? It was a blessing I will always be grateful for, to have you a part of this family. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I love you. Erin

oh just blogging and stuff

Having a blog is a weird thing. When I first began blogging, my purpose was to put down what I thought about STUFF. Not really the stuff even, just how I felt about it. Just a chance to write. I told myself that I didn't want anyone else to know about it, except for maybe family. A strange thing happens, though, when even one other person starts to read it. You have to write for them really. If you know someone is reading, it changes everything.

I like to tell myself that the only people reading are the ones who have signed up as followers....17 people. They comment regularly, and I comment on theirs. It's a neat and tidy awesome little community, which I like to believe is exclusive. However, once, Misty's old boyfriend from high school, and a good friend of mine too at the time, commented on a post. Wow! What the....?? I guess he was friends with Misty on Facebook, which leads to her blog, which leads to mine. Experiences like this makes me realize that anyone could be reading this blog. Which again, changes what I write.

A li'l friend of mine experienced this recently when her sister finally discovered that she has the cutest quirkiest artsy blog and started reading. She almost didn't blog again to avoid being made fun of. Same friend had a friend who commented on her posts regularly. So once I went to her blog and if she wasn't the twin of this friend, I don't know who is. Her li'l blog was cute quirky artsy too. Well, Maddie wanted to follow her, but she accidentally did it under my name. So I'm sure this artsy girl was like what the...? Who is this lady following my blog?? Which is exactly my point.

The blogs I love reading are, in the end, the blogs that are regular. The authors post regularly. They can be super creative, great photographers, humorous writers or deep thinkers. I can always count on Melinda's for a laugh. I can always count on some good food coming off of Si's. My sister Misty and Kelly post regularly with family happenings. I have a brilliantly funny friend Kimi, who I would stand in a line for two hours all the way around a big city block on a rainy day just to read, but she just doesn't write enough.

So...I have to accept that because I like reading them, I have to keep posting too. In the end, it's just too fun to write. It's no fun to be all self conscious. Live life I say! After all, what would I do if I couldn't post my Grammar Nazi, Star Sightings, Artist of the Week, Keepin it Real, So Not Keepin it Real posts? What if I couldn't talk about my excitement to move, dread over moving, excitement to move, dread over moving?! In the end, I'll have a book, a printed book with what I think about STUFF over a long period of time. That's pretty cool. Pretty therapeutic too. Wait until I'm in Cali with my new Nikon that Brett is going to buy me for Mothers Day/anniversary/just because/welcome to summer gift. I'll capture our experience there for my 17 followers, but mostly just for me.

ARTIST OF THE WEEK

Paul McCartney.

I know, I know. I'm all about discovering artists. New artists. And I don't like liking someone other people like out of pressure or obligation. But seriously, and I've mentioned this before, but how cool is it at 39.ish. to get to hear loads and heaps of stuff for the first time?! Even if it's old, it is new to me and his stuff is abundant and significant and GOOD. My favorite! I'm finally getting it. I'm finally hearing it for the first time really. Way cool.

"The weather is frightening. The thunder and lightning seem to be having their way.

But as far as I'm concerned, it's a lovely day."

"Isn't this a lovely day to be caught in the rain?

You were going on your way, now you've got to remain. "

"I can see the sun up high, though we're caught in the storm.

I could see where you and I could be cozy and warm."

Let the rain pitter patter- it really doesn't matter if the skies are gray.

Baby as long as I can be with you, it's a lovely day."

I am in love with the movie "Young Victoria." Go rent it today and enjoy it.

I am in love with playing music with my band. We sounded GOOD last night.

I am in love with little necks, especially right after baths.

I am in love with spring. Flowers and dirt in my hands makes me so happy.

I am in love with McCartney - since the concert of a lifetime. Can't get enough McCartney. McCartney's MUSIC Brett. His music!

I am in love with the sun. It feels soooooo good on my skin. I just need 5 minutes of lifting my face towards the warmth with closed eyes and I'm good.

I am in love with graham crackers and milk and then drinking the whole glass of milk. Must have this every day.

I am in love with a good fitting pair of my favorite jeans. They get me.

I am in love with the temple. It changes who I am.

I am in love with Brett working without his family day in and day out so we can have stuff and have a house and have food and have more stuff.

I am in love with a clean, new pair of socks, especially on a rainy day.

I am in love with itunes and new artists no one knows about yet.

I am in love with my grand piano.

I am in love with young men getting their mission calls surrounded by loved ones.

I am in love with Davis County. The people, the hang outs, the stories.

I am in love with warm showers, warm baths, warm sweatshirts, warm covers, warm heaters.

I am in love with life.

GRAMMAR NAZI!!!

Farther vs. Further

I am going to take GrammarGirl's Explanation of it, because it is pretty quirky and fresh.

The quick and dirty tip here is that you use farther to talk about physical distance and further to talk about metaphorical, or figurative, distance. It's easy to remember because farther has the word far in it, and far obviously relates to physical distance.

For example, you might say, “Squiggly and the aardvark walked to a town far, far away. After many miles, Squiggly grew tired. 'How much farther?' he asked in despair.”

Did you hear that? Squiggly used farther because he was asking about physical distance.

If the aardvark was frustrated with Squiggly, he might say, “Squiggly, I'm tired of your complaining; further, I'm tired of carrying your marimbas.” In this case, the aardvark used further because he isn't talking about physical distance, he's talking about a metaphorical distance: further along the list of irritations.

Simple. It is also been said that really, you can't go wrong using further, but only use farther if talking about distance.

I can sleep better knowing that you know that now. Have a good one. e

I'm doing so much better. It amazes me how this happens. My awesome mom in law emailed me from Germany and told me to chin up. Have faith. My awesome college aged babysitter came over today so I could go to the temple. Ali taught a great family night last night on conference talks she had been reading ON HER OWN!!! That was pretty great. One of them even happened to be on change and how the Lord WANTS us to experience change so we can GROW. Change is really really good for us. We can stagnate if we don't do it often. We must have been stagnating more than others so we just needed a bigger change :)

After Family Night, the kids ran to WalMart and bought the best Wii game called Just Dance. It is so dang fun. We were sweating big time and laughing even more. Lauren and Stephen both ran over to do it with us. Why did Spencer beat everyone, even dancer Ali? Why? It looked like he was doing the exact same thing as everyone else, but his score was so much higher. He had to have cheated.

Kate slept solid until 5a.m., then snuggled in bed with me until 7 a.m. Great way to start my day. I love that little body so much. I bought some flowers to brighten up the front walk today. I love planting flowers. I cleaned all yesterday and the house is looking GOOD if I do say so myself.

I think I WILL fly out to California again next weekend. Another plane trip with most hyper baby on the planet. Oh well. I might take my mom. Things are always good when your mom is around. We will hear Brett speak at his yearly convention and I will cruise around L.A. with my mom and we will find the right place. I will better prepare mentally this time and do my homework.

So there you go. I'm excited! I'm doing better. It always amazes me how if I do certain spiritual things, it always happens. I always gain perspective. If I eliminate other things that may be dulling my faith, I get more peace too. The temple especially..another post sometime about that.

p.s. Lauren, I'm not even going to be sad that you are going in a few days to Mexico. How great for you to do something so constructive at this time of your life. You are doing such good things. You can fly home through L.A. and we can fly you out when you need it. You are part of our family after all. You are an adult now and we were a part of it! Lucky us.

erin

Sunday

Taken Sunday evening about 8p.m. on a nice, warm spring Utah evening.

Sad day today. I hate days like this. We revisited the housing options in California. We/ I don't feel peace yet. I feel peace in moving, just not exactly what we are supposed to do now. Maybe it's just because we can't seem to be able to afford the town where we want to move. Maybe it's just that simple. We can't afford to live there. We had decided to rent a smaller and older house. It will be fine I tell myself, but I just don't want to have to do that when we could live in a different town and have a beautiful big house, a house of our dreams. We make the mistake of re-looking at some of those homes and I think, "Am I crazy to NOT do that and to settle for a small old house?" This makes me really down, because I feel like we are running out of time before we move and that we're stepping backwards and opening up old possibilities.

I wasn't planning on going back to California until we move. Now I'm thinking I need to go back in two weeks or so and do the whole house hunting thing anew. I hope if we are supposed to live in La Canada, that something positive will happen there, something will pop up so I feel like this is really what we are supposed to do. I will feel peace.

I went in my bed after church, cried a bit and then fell asleep. Sometimes I just feel like crying and I can't really explain why. I just feel it. I wear my heart on my sleeve, good and bad. I felt a little better when I woke up. I woke up to two little hands on my face and a tiny mouth gumming my chin. That's enough to cheer anyone up I say! We planned out our summer. We played Yahtzee. I will come back to Utah 2 times, maybe 3 if I insist on going to James Taylor/Carole King and Ben Folds two days later. I'll have to be a really good girl to earn that :) The kids will get to go on Trek and to EFY.

I went to Belnaps today and just kind of absorbed being at Belnaps. If you know them, you'll know exactly what I mean. I started crying there again. Farleys came over later and by the time they left, I felt good. I love them so much. They are just FUN and COMFORTABLE. I can be myself and have a really good time no matter what we do. Jane came over. Lauren came over. Two of my favorite girls.

I am working harder on the house. I can feel it coming so fast now. Weeks are flying by and I can see that this will happen fast now. I wish I could move tomorrow so I just can get it over with. I can't wait to KNOW where I'm moving. I think that will really help all of us to be excited as we start searching for local hang outs, buy stuff for the new house (or old) and finally be together again with Brett. He makes everything more normal and better when he is here. I am more balanced when he is here. Kate is happier. Rudy is happier. Spencer, Maddie, Ali and Sydney are happier. It's as it should be. The universe is balanced. I do hate wasting valuable time being sad when he is here. I should just plan my sad day for a day when he is in California. I'll remember that next time. I will feel good when he is coming home to a warm dinner at night instead of a hotel room.

I'm grateful for prayer. I know I am heard and I know that my Heavenly Father's purpose and wish is to help me progress through life and learn. I have confidence that he is deeply concerned with each of us and that we would all get so much more help and inspiration if we would just ask Him more and expect it. I'll make sure I pray tonight for extra help and peace.

Time for bed. I have also come to know that these days don't last and I will be better tomorrow. Luckily also, they don't come that often. I haven't had one in a while. Congrats to my friend Erica on her baby Sawyer's blessing today. I am so proud of Braydon and Erica and the parents they are. It's so so cute to watch!!! Babies bring such love. It amazes me.

e

I am a Lucky Girl

I'm cough 40. I was sort of determined to let it pass by so I wouldn't think about it too much. But Spencer bought me flowers and balloons. With his own money he earns at the car wash. Maddie and Ali gave me such a cute shirt. Syd made me a 3 foot paper flower. Brett made me wear this hat during dinner the night before, to humiliate me. (That is not a messy kitchen in the background. That is not a messy kitchen in the background. That is not a messy kitchen in the background.) He also arranged a dinner at our friend Nick's restaurant with good friends -and even though it was spring break we had a good group! Nick came back just to eat with us.

My kids have a new hobby and it's taking pictures of Kate like this.

I have about 100 like this. Try to get her non smiling. The weirder the face the better. This was taken at my b-day dinner with the kids at Joy Luck. (Yes Si I know. The kids wanted to. And yes Brett, I wish you could have been there.)

That's a LOT of candles. Crazy! That cake is almost upside down!

Oh yeah, Good people brought me treats and wrote me stuff and called me. My sisters kidnapped me to a movie. I got to go to lunch two days in a row. My college roommate told me I didn't look 40. She was always kind like that. I got to talk to my awesome mother-in-law who turned cough 70 on the exact same day in Germany. She had just returned from the Netherlands and Spain. BOOORRRRING I'm sure. I hope I'm in Germany doing what she is doing when I'm cough 70. Good day. Very good day.

Thank you everyone. I am blessed and grateful.

Great Day

Is it bad to let your daughter miss school to go get her ears pierced? Right after spring break?

Let's just say I had my reasons and Lauren coming was one of them. I tried to capture the cute hair Lauren did before leaving..

Lauren was a Kate hog the whole time as you can tell.

Syd was so brave! This pic is not posed. And she doesn't have to go to the bathroom. She is about to cry, because they were hurting(about 5 minutes after).

I love memories like this. Sydney's ears pierced. 9 1/2. Spring of 2010. With Lauren. :)

Conversation on the way to elementary school

Sydney: So Heather, did you think about our business? I brought the notebook with some ideas.

Heather: Ok. What?

Sydney: It's called -Your Little Puff Ball. We charge $4 an hour. That would be $2 for me and $2 for you. We walk their dog, or groom it.

Erin: Uh, I don't know if you could groom it guys. That's pretty hard to cut a dog's hair.

Sydney: Yes we could mom. Oh and we'll wash them too.

Heather: My dad said it was too much. He said we have to charge $2 an hour.

Sydney: No way. I'm not charging $2

Heather: OK

Erin: What about $3 an hour? Then you could each have $1.50

Sydney: No mom, we're not doing 50s.

Heather: Oh, my dad says we can't buy a house for them to play in, that it's too much.

Sydney: Not a REAL house. Just like those playhouses at Festival of Trees. Like a shed. (those houses were about $1500 custom built dream playhouses)

Heather: Yeah that would be perfect. That would be easy.

Sydney: We'd have to probably work 2 hours a day though to buy one of those.

Heather: We could take our dogs on the walks too.

Sydney: Yeah.

These are so darn lifelike sometimes.

And Now the Pictures..

So here is the house we settled on. We think we can be happy here. Do you like it? JK JK!!! We totally cannot afford this little beauty. Would be cool though huh?

Kate and me on Rodeo Drive. We kind of liked hanging out together each day. She really liked it as you can tell. I asked a German tourist to take this picture. I have maybe 6 just like it. Kate and me on the swings at the beach...Kate and me on a walk...Kate and me in the hotel...Kate and me at lunch.... bffs
The girls with Jay.
Kate with cousin Bryan. How cute is this picture? Bryan is a sweetheart and loved Kate.
Aunt Darcy with Katie and my girls before she sacrificed her whole day to stand in line for hours and sit in the back of the American Idol theatre while the girls got to be in the front.

Trip Summary

We did not go to Disneyland.

We did not go to Universal Studios.

We did not go to a museum.

We did go to the beach.

We did go see "Last Song" with Julianne. Too bad for Miley that her boyfriend wasn't anything to write home about.

We were in an earthquake.

We got stuck in traffic.

The girls saw dolphins do an hourish jumping show yards from the beach they happened to be at. For free.

We found a great gelato, taco and omelette place. Ovbiously not the same place.

The girls went to American Idol front front row.

Babies like naps, even on vacations.

Babies like sand and random things in the sand. Especially in their mouths.

I lost and then found my keys, my credit card and my phone. All at different times.

I saw Paul McCartney.

Brett was interviewed by Jay Leno.

We got stuck in more traffic.

I saw 5 guys being handcuffed just outside my stopped-in-traffic car.

We missed our son. He makes life fun.

We bought boatloads of fruit at the swap meet.

Houses cost a lot of money in California.

I wanted to go home, I was glad I was there, I wanted to go home, I was glad I was there.

I didn't want to move, it will be fine to move, I didn't want to move, it will be fine to move.

Kate woke up a record 7 times a night with me feeding her the only way she wouldn't wake up anyone else.

Music listened to: Wings, Paul Simon Graceland (thought of the Keem), Aztec Camera, and more Wings.

Was stopped all of the time by people wanting to touch, talk to, smile at Kate.

Made it home late Friday night just in time to show our house at 10a.m. this morning. I didn't care though--I was just happy to be home, even if it was cleaning and doing laundry.

Next Year

Random Musing:

I just finished reading my friend's blog. She tells of her little shy son rigging the toilet fill tube on April Fool's day. He put it just under the lid facing out, so that when the water rushes through it to fill the tank, it instead shoots water outward and soaks whoever is, well, uh, using the toilet. The cool thing was that they happened to have the missionaries over for dinner and by the time they realized that and ran to the bathroom to warn the missionary, they heard the flush. They were too late.

What a great story! So here's the musing. I decided just now that I like and I mean really like anyone who takes the time to prank people on April Fools Day. What's not to like about people who don't take life too seriously and have a little fun once a year?

We have a neighbor, who I'll just call Ray or maybe Raymond to protect his identity. This is a man with 7 children in his 50's and is a respectable scientist kind of guy. Not just kind of guy..ok, he IS a scientist. Let's just clarify that. He is a disciplined, rule following, trustworthy, hardworking man. Once a year, on April Fools, he fools a LOT of people. You just don't expect whatever prank he is going to pull.

One year, he put a for sale sign in his yard, which shocked everyone, because people just don't move out of this neighborhood very often. The next year (and this is the one I thought was the best), he sent out an email to everyone in the neighborhood supposedly from his wife, Laurie, announcing that at age 50, she was pregnant with their 8th. It was so classic as he used words like, the Lord has blessed us once again...I can't wait to experience it one more time.... Oh man, that was funny. The next year, while I was serving as Young Women's President, I get an email from Elder Holland explaining that they needed strong women such as myself to come to church headquarters and be on some board to help the brethren decide some youth issues...something like that. Those pranks made Ray go up about 5 notches on my cool-o-meter.

So this year, Brett and I were in L.A. and our kids were here in Utah. All we could think to do was to call Maddie and tell her as seriously as we could that we decided to move to this semi-scary area that she knew about and that we just had a super strong feeling that is where we were supposed to live. Did she trust us as parents? You could have driven a semi truck through the pause on her end. Well, do you trust us? She finally quietly said, Yes I trust you. When I finally told her April Fools, I think she started crying. She was so relieved.

Now, that was pretty lame, I'll concede. I have just decided that I want to be more like my friend Ray and more like my friend's son(the toilet guy) on April Fools. Next year. Mark my words...

It's ok, it's ok...I'm alive.

Hey everyone! I was just in an earthquake! We are at Brett's brother's house in Newport Beach. We were all in the kitchen. I was walking and suddenly felt like I was on the tilt o whirl...a cruise ship in rough waters? It wasn't a shaking as much as a rolling, making everyone off balance. It lasted for about 20 seconds. We were all saying, "whoa. What is happening? I think this is an earthquake." We didn't know if we should duck, because it would get worse, or what. We didn't. We just stood there off balance.

Wow. An Earthquake. Memorable trip. I'd better go before we have an aftershock....