Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Who's idea was it to put an 'S' in the word lisp?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart, why do we say, "It's all right." Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That really hurt. Why don't you watch where you're going?"
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something to eat will have materialized?
Who's idea was it to put an 'S' in the word lisp?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart, why do we say, "It's all right." Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That really hurt. Why don't you watch where you're going?"
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something to eat will have materialized?
3 comments:
A few answers....
1. For the same reason all men shave…Jane wanted him to. And also because having a beard is against the honor code.
2. I don’t know, but it would have to be the same person who came up with the word “abbreviation” to mean a short word, and who decided to spell “phonetic” aphonetically (is that even a word?). By the way, the word “lisp” comes from the Middle English word "lispen" and from the Old English word "wlyspian." I think shortening those words to “lisp” was actually quite humane.
3. Because, if there were no apes, who would teach Tarzan to shave?
4. We say “it’s all right” because studies have shown that 94% of shopping cart/ankle accidents involve a cart slamming into ones' right ankle. Thus, the suffering ankles are almost “all right.” Now, if you happen to be in the 6% who gets hit in the left ankle, the appropriate response should be “ouch…that weally, weally hurts” (said with a wlyspian).
5. Like the ape who evolved into a man, I keep waiting for my refrigerator to evolve into a replicator. I blame Star Trek.
Mike- per #4...you know that 64% of all statistics are made up, right?
You sound like an attorney. You sound like you like researching stuff. I know that isn't all in your head.
Thank you for making my quotes truly deep thoughts. Go google 'deep thoughts by jack handey' and have a good laugh.
Welcome back.
So you ARE a deep thinker. Wow. I'm amazed. ;)
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