Really long and meaty yellow snakes that like to be held

The kids here in L.A. tend to be very independent. They get their license and instead of driving down the hill to Keva Juice on 5th South, they drive into Hollywood or Santa Monica. That's really as far as driving to Provo to hang out. In traffic. With weird people everywhere. Anyway, this summer, the girls have done chores during the day and then gather their various friends and do bunches of other things..many of which are by a beach or in the city.

So, on Sunday, my mom wrote me a semi-frantic email asking me about why in the WORLD my girls would be holding such a big snake and do I need to maybe have a talk with them about safety. I laughed and replied quickly, "Oh mom. Ha ha ha . Whatever picture you saw was a stuffed animal snake or something. Trust me, my girls would not be holding a big snake and also if by some small chance they were, I would know!!! Ha ha." Oh moms..gotta love em. Then on the way to church, Brett says, "Maddie, grandma just called for you and she seems pretty anxious to talk to you." I laughed again. "That's because she thinks you were holding a huge snake Maddie! I don't know, she's really worried that you were! ha ha ha" That's when Maddie tells me that she and Ali paid some guy on the beach money to let them hold the 12 foot huge yellow constrictor for a photo. I couldn't believe it. Since when is something like that NOT interesting enough to tell me? If that isn't, WHAT IS?? And also, WHY WOULD YOU PAY SOME RANDOM STRANGER TO LET YOU HOLD A HUGE YELLOW SNAKE THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT!??!!

We had to have a talk about safety and about naivety and about boundaries and about judgment. Because I'm worried.

Also, why do office stores sell big wall calendars that clients with little two-year olds drive 20 minutes to get, because they realize that being organized might take their mind off of being bloated and irritable (according to their new "period tracker!" iphone app) if the calendars start in 2012?! Do you think that NOT detail-oriented people like the aformentioned client with the two-year old look closely enough to realize that it doesn't start until 2012? Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't we still in AUGUST? You're just going to throw 4 months away? Now I've got the cutest big calendar that I can't use until JANUARY and now Kate's asleep so it's not like I can lug her back there. Plus I already took off the wrapping. So now I just have to feel bloated and irritable? uggg.

Emotions and Junk

So yesterday was kind of an -I feel like crying- day. Probably no other woman ever has those days but ENB. But hey, I have them. Yesterday I was just sad. I felt like crying all day. Maybe part of it was that I knew school was starting today. I was afraid that this year would be as hard for me as last year has been. When I look back at our experiences, I realize it's been a great year! We've done so much, grown so much, seen so much. What a great year. I just never got over the feeling of being a visitor here and I thought I would feel like this was my home a lot sooner. That was a little tough. Then it was summer and problem solved for 3 months. Girls home, noise, food, travel. All good.

Another part of it was me being tired. Just tired. Brett had been gone for a few days and lots to do with school starting and I played a gig this weekend which was hard to do without my super great dad babysitter. ha AND someone was mean to me at church. Like mean, which seriously KILLS me when I think someone has a problem with me.

So I came home from church and just got on my bed flopped on my stomach with my head buried in my pillow. Brett came in and sat down ready to listen to me vent about ?? I  said to him, "I'm sorry, I'm just sad. I can't really explain why to you, so you don't have to feel like I need to talk something out." Then I said finally, "I don't know, maybe I'm going to start my period."

PAUSE

I'm sorry to include that piece of information, but I'm pretty sure it's needed for my story.

BACK TO STORY

Then Brett said, "Oh you're not going to." I said, "How do you know?" He said, "Because it warns me on my iphone when you're going to start."

PAUSE

Now first of all, anyone who knows me knows that I believe everything people tell me. Also, anyone who knows Brett knows that he is in LOVE with his iphone. He is in love with PROGRAMMING stuff, especially on his iphone. So it could be totally possible. But I was still skeptical. Heck, it's my body and I have no CLUE when I'm going to start, so how would he?

BACK TO STORY

So I said, "You do not!" He said, "Yes I do. It's called iperiod and it's for men." Then I just started laughing so hard. Only then did I know he was lying. We laughed about how needed that really is. If every guy had an iperiod app that had an alarm to warn them, they could avoid or at least understand all of the monthly misdirected anger and in my case, gear up for a weepy wife for a day. Anyway, he decided he was going to do that and it will be big (because everything with Brett ends up with him starting a company that will do it..).

CONCLUSION

I may or may not have cried. And today I started my period. And this morning when I pushed that little round button on the bottom of my iphone, up popped a screen that said, "Are you sad? Depressed? Angry?" and I was supposed to touch which emotion I felt. After I did, I learned that I was on Period Tracker! Yeah! Brett found it and left it there for me to find. ha ha Only it's for women, so it's not even funny. What's funny about tracking your period if you're a woman? Plus, if I actually tracked my period, I would be like other normal women who keep track of details like that about their health. I'm much more spontaneous and um above such trivial details. I, instead, like to feel completely messed up for a day and wonder what the heck is wrong with me or think of all of the things that are wrong with my husband which usually don't bother me so much and then realize the next day WHY. Then I like to profusely apologize.

Ok Erin, are you not blogging anymore? Do you have to be on a trip to get inspiration? I don't know what's happening.

Here are some things I've learned over this summer that might be helpful to others.

Never ever drive to Southern California on a Sunday from Utah, especially where you get to Vegas after 2 p.m. and especially if it's summer.

Never ever drive from Southern California to Vegas or through Vegas on a Friday afternoon or evening.

In both cases, you will seriously regret it.

Oh and also, if you are driving in the traffic and getting frustrated, and if you are a type A male, don't think for a minute that getting off of the freeway and driving rogue dirt paths through sagebrush will get you back to the freeway and on your way faster. It really won't. Plus your wife will be mad at you. It's not worth it.

There is no place in the world as pretty as southern Utah. Those red rocks rival anywhere in the world. And they're just sitting there, waiting to be looked at and hiked on.

Wakeboarding is messed up. There is something intrinsically wrong with having your feet facing sideways while your body is being propelled at high speeds forwards. I should have invested all of that time learning to slalom!! Next year, it's all forward.

You have to put in the time to keep a relationship strong. Relationships are either moving forward or going backwards. Time, time, time. Some relationships I've done well with. Others, not good. I realize that the time I have spent with each person directly affects how close we are.

When you eat high calorie foods and don't exercise, you WILL gain weight. When you eat high calorie foods and exercise sometimes you will probably STILL gain weight. When you eat normal food and don't exercise, you can ALSO gain weight. When you eat normal food and exercise you will probably MAINTAIN your weight. When you eat low calorie, healthy foods and exercise, you will LOSE weight. I'm learning it's just that simple. Dang!

Nobody's happy when Maddie throws up. The world is out of alignment when Maddie throws up. But when mom throws up the next day, that is actually slightly worse than Maddie throwing up. Mom being sick kind of trumps it in the "put everyone out" category. Sorry guys. I'm better now. (well, I guess that's not advice in general about summer..)

There is nothing in the WORLD as interesting as your missionary's letter. Really, nothing, not even that they almost have Gaddafi or that the U.S. is tanking. Not as interesting.

It's time for everyone to get out of debt and to get food storage. (I'm in charge of this project in my Relief Society this year and although it seems way out of my knowledge range, I'm excited.)

Things are good when your sister buys a bigger house with lots of rooms. Things are also good when your bro and sis in law have a big house with lots of rooms. Things are still good when your mom has a small house with LOTS OF FOOD. :)

Ok That's enough for now. e

I think I'm becoming more neurotic as I grow older. I've decided that really really neat people are probably not the most healthy people as say people who are ok with a little messiness. I used to really admire extremely neat people and wish I were more like that. I was just never willing to put in the time it takes to have an extremely neat house. And I was never willing to pay someone to do it. Now, I still don't have the time, but I am extremely uptight if I walk in a room and it is messy. I can't spend time in my room unless bed is made, clothes off of the floor. It drives me nuts. I tend to feel a lot of anxiety if I look around and piles of paper aren't straight or if the counters have a water spot on it. I can't go in places in my home that are messy without feeling a constriction in my chest. I clean my kitchen floor on my hands and knees. A lot. I wipe down baseboards and door frames. A lot. I wipe my microwave out daily. I wipe my fridge out bi-weekly. Now the hard thing is, my house isn't always spotless. But now, unlike before, it really bothers me. I don't go in my garage because the accumulated stuff just frustrates me.  I don't like going in my girls' rooms in the 2nd house because I can feel my anxiety level rise as I notice clothes on their floor or toothpaste spills left on the counter. Like they can't see it! Or don't care! How can you not care that there is a blue glob on the counter? Oh no, it's happening as I type about it. I need help. I don't want to get any cleaner. Seriously. It makes me really happy when I walk in a home and it is a bit messy. Especially toy rooms. It makes me feel like people LIVE there. And people are happy there. There is action there. Then why can't I enjoy it in my own home?

And another thing. Why do I feel a little feeling of homesickness every time I hear James Taylor's voice? And it's not necessarily homesickness for Utah. Just that feeling. That feeling where you have to just stop what you're doing and completely listen to the song for just a minute and then sigh before you go back to your stuff? Maybe because I've listened to him for so long? He's my old friend?  I've seen him play live so often? What if he were your dad and you just didn't feel well. You tuck yourself under your covers and ask him to sing a few songs as you fall asleep. Can you imagine? I could never fall asleep! Which brings me to another thing that has always bothered me.

Do other people concentrate on every note that is being played in a song so that it prevents them from sleeping at all when music is on? I could never ever fall asleep to music. I can't turn off that mechanism in my brain that is identifying notes. Which instrument is playing what, what his/her vocal range is. I hate it! Which reminds me..

Why does the fruit that we buy at the farmers market go bad after about 1-2 days, while the fruit we buy at the grocery store stays good for a week or more? What do they put in the fruit at the grocery stores anyway? Do I want to know?

I wonder if Spencer is flossing. And taking his vitamins. And eating vegetables. And scrubbing them. With filtered water. I wonder if he washes whites with only whites. I wonder if he's going to get sick. Or stopped by the Russian police. Which brings me back to point one. I think I'm becoming more neurotic with age. :) e

Day 7 Eze/Monaco/Italy

Today was crazy! I am 5 minutes from where this happened. The cars here are CRAZY!! This is funny money here I decided. Who are these people? What do they do? Where do they come from? I passed a couple and I knew he was either a professional soccer player? Or a prince? I don't know, it's seriously crazy money here. This article was funny because that is exactly what I'm seeing! Seeing it from a bus with a bunch of tourists, but still..

We decided to go to Italy just because. Today was an bonus day. Our guides finished last night :( which basically meant no bike rides or hikes today AND we had to get everywhere we went by ourselves and pay for it ourselves. Double :(. So as much as I wanted to rest on this beautiful hilltop, we decided to go to Monaco and Italy! I'm so glad we did.

We were in Monaco for about an hour and saw the palace. The country is still celebrating Prince Albert's marriage to Charlene of South Africa. It's weird that for all the hoopla about Prince William and Kate Middleton, why was this marriage not really covered? Or was it and I just missed it? Anyway a lady on the train in the know told me that there was lots of gossip about this woman not really wanting to marry him and become princess. Everyone thought she would bolt a few times. He's a playboy. At the wedding apparently, she was stoic, showing no emotion? Don't do it Charlene! Why??? She is beautiful eh though? She's an Olympic swimmer to boot.

I think her hair looks cuter short like this. Love this cut.

Most every woman I saw today in Monaco looked like her. With serious modesty issues but I won't go into detail. 

ok enough of that. I don't ever feel the need to go there again. I guarantee those people are not happier than someone with a good husband/wife and some children and a tramp and probably a dog and a bbq grill with warm hot dogs and a car that gets them from point a to point b.

So, then we took a taxi to Italy! The contrast was evident the second we crossed over. Now to be fair, we went to some random Italian town and not Venice, but still, the people were very very different than the French people. Not as proper, not as thin, not as quiet, not as well dressed. Louder, more relaxed. We got a gelato and a pizza and shopped at a huge flea market for a few hours, then hopped the train back to France. Interesting fact: The gelato in France is a tiny little scoop. The gelato in Italy was a huge overspilling scoop. I'm glad we did it, but I'm glad to be back, if just to hear the french language again. Soooo beautiful! 

Fun Fact about Holland: So this woman was on the train with us from Holland. When I think of Holland, I think of fields of tulips and beauty. She said "Nah! It's awful! Totally flat. Flat flat flat! No hills, not interesting." Then I said, "But those tulips!" She said, "For two months only! The rest of the time it's cold, windy, rainy. It was only nice for about 2 weeks this whole summer. I'm here so I could see some sun!." She went on and on about how much she loved southern california and couldn't believe Venice Beach..."so free, so hippie, skating, biking, music. Everyone was just eating and doing things." Ha ha. I was like, "But Europe! Look at these buildings!" She said, "Pfsssh!" 

Perspective!

Time to wrap it up. Tomorrow at 6 a.m. we go home. 12 hour direct flight from Nice to SLC. I can't wait to get my hand on my babies. Not just my baby baby but all of my babies, every single one at every single age (except for my oldest one. Can't get my hands on him, but I get to get my hands on a phone and hear his voice. Excited.) Farewell. 

Day 6 Cote d'Azur/ Eze

Fact: Everyone in France smokes. I don't know when the transition comes in a French person's life to a full-time smoker, but it happens. It amazes me that they are so conscious of fresh food, fresh air, etc. and then smoke.

Fact: The French make great food. French food is different than American food. French eating times are also different. Our dinner tonight began at 8 and just ended (midnight.) Course after course and looooong periods of nothing in between. But good. Lots of talking. And yawning.

We hiked today to the top of another mountain past Roman ruins on the exact trail that Julius Caesar used as his ships parked on the coast and expanded the Roman empire. There were stone "trophees" built along that path in honor of him. It's weird how history that just usually goes over my head suddenly makes sense when I see it with my own eyes.

We are about 20 minutes from Italy. I kind of want to take a cab there, step on the ground, get a gelato, and come back. Is that dumb?

What is going on back in Washington D.C. right now?! Yikes! Fix this!

I miss my girls. It's time to come home. One day left. The company who has been planning this trip, called Butterfield and Robinson are now done. Tomorrow is a free day. Then I get to see my girls!

Brett is snoring which means at 12:26, I'm up too late. Again. Bye!

DAY 5 Provence/Cote d'Azur (French Riviera)

Today we are right in between Provence and the French Riviera. Another 22-mile bike ride up a mountain in the pouring rain! Only about 1/3 of the people went today and I was one of them! It was all uphill, seriously up a mountain and I was so drenched by the end, there was water pooling in my shoes. It was so awesome! I felt so good afterwards, a kind of good I have never experienced. Probably how one feels when they run a race or whatever. That's how I felt. This ride was through a forested mountain and medieval towns. The view and the smells were amazing. Can't describe it. I just kept going up, up, up wiping rain out of my eyes, up, up, up. The van stopped us for about 10 minutes in Selleine for pain au chocolat and chocolat chaud. Yeah I know that's a lot of chocolate. It was heaven. In this little cafe, there were 4 old pals playing cards at the bar, staying out of the rain. While we were eating, an old rough looking guy walked in and one by one went to each man and kissed and hugged them. Kissed them once on each cheek. It was sweet to see their friendship. We should kiss people on the cheeks when we see them. Definitely hug people. People need human contact more I've decided.

Tomorrow, we move to the Mediterranean coast to the town of Eze, 30 minutes from Monaco. I don't want to leave this hotel bed ever again though so that will be a tough one...Brett's skyping with Kate so I've got to go! e