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I heard a couple fighting today. Well, they didn't think they were fighting. I'm sure they thought they were "talking." I hate it when couples argue. 2nd to hearing a mother yell at a little child. That is downright painful for me to hear a mother say, "Tommy! Get OVER here! Right now. I'm not going to tell you again! Just wait until we get home!" Oh man, that almost does me in as I see that bad boy Tommy is 3 years old with big brown eyes quietly taking the verbal lashing. Really, it's the TONE. A mother could say the above with kindness and you know when they get home, Tommy's going to sit in a quiet chair for 3 minutes. It's when the TONE conveys that Tommy might get yelled at a lot. One time, my brother heard a mother yelling at her son for taking 2 pieces of bacon on a camping trip instead of one. The little guy didn't know it was wrong to do that first of all. Secondly, the mother followed the verbal outpouring with "You are so selfish!" Ouch.

So, this couple was at CVS pharmacy. The wife was getting her blood pressure taken. The husband was standing behind her. She was overweight, he a little scrawny thing. It came back 152 over 86. He yells, "That's high! That's high!" She barked back, "John, it is not! Get away from here and stop watching me! I don't do that to you!" He says as he walks away, "That's not good! I told you it would be high." "I'm doing it again!  The first one's never right, So just leave me alone." They went on and on about this and that never agreeing on anything.

Anyway, blah blah blah, but I silently listen and wonder if they are in complete misery living with one another. The TONE in their voices conveyed disgust, impatience, and I knew that if they talk like that to each other over a free blood pressure read, I can only imagine what their daily conversations are like when chatting about bills, sickness, etc.

One of my love languages is words of affirmation. I am extremely sensitive to words. Positive words keep me happy and floating for weeks and words of criticism bite more than they would probably to most people. My love language is not gifts. I mess up gifts ALL OF THE TIME! I'm so pathetic at gift giving. I don't know if I've ever given a really great gift. Other than maybe the gift of life. Or the gift of just being super awesome to live with :) Gifts frustrate me.

But words...I always admire couples who speak kindly to each other, who say thank you and can I get this for you and such. Today's "conversation" made me decide again that that will NOT be us at 50 or 60
or 70 or even 80. I've decided that it takes work to be kind. Not just to stay together, but to enjoy each other and treat each other well. Work and worth it.



How cute is this couple? I bet they don't argue very much. I also think his hand is huge. And I think he lost his pointer finger in the war, but that's beside the point.