RESTLESS

I have nothing to share with the blogging world. I am restless tonight. I made the statement to the air (Brett)that I needed to get out tonight by myself, believe it or not, away from Kate. I don't know, I just needed free arms and a free mind for a while. I was frustrated, because there was nowhere for me to go. I didn't want to go to a store and spend money. I had no errand I needed to run. I just felt restless. SO, I did what I used to do a lot. I got on my sweats and a t-shirt and started weeding and combing my dirt with the 3-pronged tool. I love that tool. I can't explain it, but there is probably no other tool that I like more than that one. It tears up the dirt and when I'm done combing, the dirt is dark brown and soft again. I was pulling up branch starts, tearing down my old boards I made to try and keep Rudy in the back yard. I just started digging and couldn't stop. Even when I heard Kate crying a bit, I willed her to quiet back down so I could stay out longer. It felt so good. There was no one I had to talk to, but using/moving my body compared to lying in bed or watching tv--breaking a little sweat, by myself.

Then I came in and talked to Lauren on Skype! It was so cool to see her happy face all the way in Mexico. Plus, she got to see Kate and that was so great to see how happy it made her.

After that and two chapters of my book which is getting SO GOOD, I felt better. Now everyone in my house is asleep and I'm still wanting to stay up so I can get even more alone time. I'll regret it about 3-4 a.m. though when I'm the only one awake again...

Random Detour: I just have to say that I love having teenagers. I really love them. I love talking about the girls/guys they like, the girls/guys who are bugging them, the teachers who are so incredible, the teachers who are so bad, the homework they hate, the classes they love. I love the friends who come over. I love that they think they are so much wiser than me and that I am so weird. Do everyone's kids say "mom, you are so weird" all of the time or is it just my kids? I love that they are so funny. I laugh so much with them. Lately, we have slowed down our life a lot. I am not gone every night running them places or doing my own things. I'm home most of the time. They are too. We are home talking and laughing and eating most nights. We eat dinner together more. I must say, I feel that the kids are closer to each other than they have ever been. I have always been close to them, because I was still the one driving them around, but I can see that Brett is also closer to them than he has ever been. Teenage kids are the best. They make life fun and interesting. I could be in this stage of life forever. Especially with both teenage kids and a baby I can hold and smooch all of the time.

Well, the restlessness is almost gone and I might be able to relax enough to go to sleep now. But not until I take a few photo booth pictures. (OK, these are ugly, but I'm posting them anyway. I look like a frog in the first one.) Yawn. Good night world.