What is happening to me? Lately, I just can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about things, can't turn my mind off at night. I have always slept so soundly. I used to go to bed at 10:30-11:00 and wake up at 6:30 without ever a hint of awakeness in between.
Last night I just couldn't sleep. The last time I remember looking at the clock was at 12:12. I don't remember anything after that until.................12:35 when Kate woke up. UGH I thought as I shuffled in to get her. I put her back down around 1:15 but her huge eyes were staring at me through the dark as I walked away and I knew that wasn't good. After she (of course) started grunting I went back in for the ol' burp baby round 2. Finally about 1:35 it was back to my soft pillow on my stomach. Aaahhh. 2:40. waa waa. What??!! No. Couldn't be. At 3 something I woke up Brett and said, "Can you burp her? My head is seriously spinning." I felt like a total zombie.I think Brett fell asleep around 3:30. Then 4 something- awake and crying hard until 5:30. We were both in the front room laughing semi-deliriously at how dang tired we were. He kept saying, "go to bed. I'll do this." I kept saying, "no, you go to bed. I can take over," as I am lying in fetal position on the floor groaning and laughing at the same time.Wow. That was a night. Weird though, when she woke up at 7 this morning, I had no hard feelings. She was so stinking cute, smiling and reaching for me. What am I gonna do? Love her AND I'm old.
-exhausted erin
4 comments:
Erin-
Did you know problems with insomnia begin with menopause? Perhaps you are in "peri-menopause". Why not? You're a mormon mother. I have no explanation for Brett. Even though there are so many things we look back at when the kids are little that we enjoy, endless sleepless nights: not so much! Ann
Ahhh Erin that makes me cry for you. Those nights are the worse! I hope tonight you sleep peacefully and baby Kate sleeps even more peacefully.
Ok Mel- you are one person who feels my pain, I know. You have had it 100 times worse. I should stop whining.
Ann- Thanks. I think. How could I be in peri menopause if I just had a baby? Tell me it ain't so :)
I love the picture! Syd kissing Kate, and Kate kissing the camera--or me, as I like to imagine. ;-)
I also love the imagery of you on the floor in fetal posish, groaning and laughing. I can just picture it! You guys are awesome!
Verification word: twack
Isn't that how you feel after a night like that?
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