This blog is for my pops. He's feeling a bit disconnected with my life and asked that I do a blog to keep him informed about his favorite daughter. He said that, I swear Misty and Kelly. I'm just the messenger. My dad lives in Red Lodge, Montana with my stepmom Shirlee. They have been married since I was 6 and she has been a great mother to all of us kids. Love their little town. Love the openness, the quaint main street that has cool antique shops, great food and my favorite furniture store. Think mini Jackson Hole. Love the pig races and horse rides. Love the old fashioned candy store.
On the beautiful ranch.I got a lot of who I am from my dad.
I love a good story, both hearing one and telling it. Relationships are built on stories. The more of someone's stories you know, the closer you are. Nothing is as great as a close friend/loved one saying " you will never believe what happened to me." or "I've always been afraid of clowns. When I was ten, ..." It's so great.
Love of music. Ahhh. I love hearing a song for the first time, uninterrupted, turned up breaking-point loud with my eyes closed. Many a memory I have of my dad saying, "you have to listen to this. Lie down, close your eyes." You just don't speak during a first listen. If someone tries to talk to me during a first listen, especially to a song given to me or recommended by someone else, they see the "hand" shoot out and think - Oh my. Aren't we dramatic? It is what it is. It makes me happy. My dad's mom was an accomplished pianist and organist until the very end of her life. She saw that I had a desire and gift for hearing notes and being able to play them by ear when I was a little one and began paying for me to take piano lessons. That changed my life. I have been teaching since I was 15 and now am playing in a band which has brought me much needed relief of stress and some great friends. I will be posting much in this blog about music, mostly my listening picks.
I love people, which is probably the biggest trait given to me by my dad. My kids laugh that often when I hang up the phone or leave a conversation, I usually tell them- Man. I love them. And I do. I love talking to people, not afraid of strangers. If a woman is walking past me and she looks nice, I'll just blurt out-cute skirt- as she passes, because I think she'd want to know! She probably agonized over whether to buy it, whether it makes her look fat...
When I go to Red Lodge, we go to Main Street and my dad knows everyone. I've never heard him say he doesn't like someone or has a hard time with them. I feel the same way. I love figuring out why someone might act in ways others perceive as negative. There's a reason and if you can figure it out, it makes you love them more, as they are. As we leave someone, he will tell me a detailed story about their life, why they are the way they are, how they fit in that little town, etc. Over and over until I know who he knows...well. He also analyzes me, which can be slightly uncomfortable, but highly beneficial.
He also taught me to see what's around me. He writes poetry and it is usually about the simple, often unstated: lately about his love of the wild west, cowboys, indians, scraggy landscape. Here are a few Haikus from my dad and others he follows.
spring fever ...
he kisses each freckle
in no special order
blooming now,
the tulips we planted
when he loved me
Carol Raisfeld
(new jersey)
I am going
I am going
you're staying
two autumns for us
Shiki Masaoka
Japan, 1867-1909
Valentine's Day--
she reminds me
to fasten my seatbelt
Michael Dylan Welan
tethered horses
snow
snow
in both stirrups
Yosa Buson
Japan, 1750+/-
24th parade
the white dog lifts its leg
on a Hummer
pale moon
not half the man
I used to be
lupine
a darker blue
in the hoofprints
his side of it.
her side of it.
winter silence
his side of it.
her side of it.
winter silence
daybreak
the dogs chase some mallards
to the pond
Michael Farley
To illustrate his effect on his kids, consider the following. My oldest brother is a photographer. My next oldest, a graphic and furniture designer. I am a musician, my younger sister married a graphic designer and has a great eye for color/design/style. My youngest brother is an actor in LA. Finally, my last sister married a what? An attorney? What's up with that? It's ok. She's so stable.
No artist ADD for her.
The last lesson is that life isn't fair. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. I remember going into a McDonalds and dad ordering 4 meals exactly the same, each with an orange drink. Quietly, we whimpering puppies whispered to each other that Sprite would have been better, or that chicken nuggets would have really done the trick, darn it. Oh well. With dad, if you complained you wanted Sprite, you might get no orange, just water. You just ate it and appreciated it. I'm grateful for that.
My dad is fighting Stage 4 colon cancer as I write. He's on his 2nd round of chemo after a remission. He went from lots of thick hair to no hair to completely white hair back to bushy hair and is about to go to no hair again. It's all good. Love you pops.
"We are each other." e
The last lesson is that life isn't fair. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. I remember going into a McDonalds and dad ordering 4 meals exactly the same, each with an orange drink. Quietly, we whimpering puppies whispered to each other that Sprite would have been better, or that chicken nuggets would have really done the trick, darn it. Oh well. With dad, if you complained you wanted Sprite, you might get no orange, just water. You just ate it and appreciated it. I'm grateful for that.
My dad is fighting Stage 4 colon cancer as I write. He's on his 2nd round of chemo after a remission. He went from lots of thick hair to no hair to completely white hair back to bushy hair and is about to go to no hair again. It's all good. Love you pops.
"We are each other." e
2 comments:
Love it, Erin. Great post.
This is a terrific post and tribute. The "Old Man in Red Lodge" has influenced a lot of us for good, including me. I can see a part of him in his daughters. Nice job.
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