Two Songs For Today

I dedicate this post to all mothers who are seeing changes this first week of school. A special shout out to my sister-in-law Darcy who just sent her two sons off to two different colleges, one just home from a mission and beginning life as an independent adult. She also has a new high schooler today and the baby of the family beginning full-time school. Finally, she has a husband starting a brand new business this week. Eeek.
To all of you experiencing change, here are two fabulous songs for you to download and listen to.

1- John Mayer's "Stop This Train"

This song is a favorite of mine. It focuses on the desperate feeling you feel sometimes as you sense that life is moving so fast and you wish you could just stop time. You don't want things to change, kids to grow, parents to age, see your own possibilities become more and more limited as we run out of time..This could have been my theme song last year.

No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

Don't know how else to say it
Don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun

Had a talk with my old man
Said "help me understand"
He said "turn sixty-eight
You renegotiate"

"Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
And don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"

Once in awhile, when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark
Singing

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train

2-James Taylor's "The Secret of Life"

This song has a much more positive message. I love this one. It is worth an itunes download if you don't have it. You'll love it.

The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time
Any fool can do it
There ain't nothing to it
Nobody knows how we got to
The top of the hill
But since we're on our way down
We might as well enjoy the ride

The secret of love is in opening up your heart
It's okay to feel afraid
But dont let that stand in your way
cause anyone knows that love is the only road
And since were only here for a while
Might as well show some style
Give us a smile

Isn't it a lovely ride?
Sliding down
Gliding down
Try not to try too hard
It's just a lovely ride

Now the thing about time is that time
Isn't really real
It's just your point of view
How does it feel for you?
Einstein said he could never understand it all
Planets spinning through space
The smile upon your face
Welcome to the human race

Some kind of lovely ride
I'll be sliding down
I'll be gliding down
Try not to try too hard
It's just a lovely ride

Isn't it a lovely ride?
Sliding down
Gliding down
Try not to try too hard
It's just a lovely ride

Now the secret of life is enjoying the passage of time

I think I'll stop this train and put Kate in her stroller and enjoy the passage of time by walking around the neighborhood and delivering thank you notes to my neighbors for all of the great gifts I got at my shower. Speaking of showers, I should probably get one in today. Later. e

Two Young Friends

I had a musing last night. I have two young friends. (Sorry old friends. If you are wondering which one you are, you are the old friend.) I love these girls.

Both of them just left the security of upper middle class, safe neighborhoods for Mexico and China. Both left to teach English. Both of them went without close friends going with them. Both of them earned money to go. One of them risks all that comes with living in a poor area--bad food and germs, a violent country. The other has to accept no Facebook or Youtube due to communist restrictions.

How impressive. Both of these friends have nice rooms at home. Both have a car to drive. Both have boys knocking at their doors and friends to play with every day. Both have families who love them and are good to be around. One has a mom who cooks great food and another has a dad who takes her boating weekly. Both have the gift of being able to go to college and have experienced living on their own.

What a great time of life. I want my kids to experience what they are experiencing. (Heck, I want to experience what they are experiencing, although I would choose Denmark and Italy over Mexico and China.) I want my kids to be as strong, fun, and happy as they both are. I am impressed that they are mixing hard work with service and adventure. Their parents are not handing them these experiences. One moved home and nannied full time so she could save all of her money to go to Mexico. The other has worked sometimes 90-hour weeks this summer away from home and school to earn the money to go to China. These friends will be young wives and then mothers before they know it. These experiences and learned work ethic will benefit their families and create memories they will always be grateful for.

This makes me muse about my life. I still want to attack life like they are. I still have dreams, some realized, some not. I want to look forward to those not realized yet. I want to have hope that I can still affect my future. I want to make plans. I want to do hard things like they did, but in my own sphere to create the greatest possible happiness. In my life, I know having a baby was one of those decisions. I get a peaceful assurance that the Lord just gave me a big huge gift that I don't even understand. She will be a great companion for Brett and for me as the other kids get older.

What a gift life is. We can do with it whatever we want. Really, we can. We can spend our time on any number of things that make us happy. How cool is that?

Oh, baby is waking up. Just in time to take Syd to elementary and take pictures of her with her cute braids she insisted on me doing this morning. She's getting so big. 3rd grade. She's grown and matured like crazy in, oh, the last 5 weeks. I wonder why?....

Random Musing Detour: Crepes are really good. Crepes are easy to make. Kids like crepes. I like crepes. I want some nutella spread for the next batch. When those two young friends come home, I want to have them come over so I can make them some. erin

Hello World, I'm Erin

Hi. Let me reintroduce myself. I'm Erin.
For the past 3 nights, Miss Kate has gone from 2 night feedings to 1. I fall asleep at 10:30 and don't have to wake up until 4:30 a.m. or so. (Cue Hallelujah Chorus turned all the way up).
If you haven't seen me around lately as you are running errands or perhaps eating lunch out, it is because I have been SLEEPING. Anyone who says 39 is the new 29 is WRONG. 39 feels pretty old without sleep. 39 year-olds need sleep, are used to full nights of it and look pretty haggard when they don't get it.
So, I have been waking up at 4:30 with joy, so grateful to Kate for sleeping that long that I just want to love the heck out of her. Then, to wake up and smell that little cheek or neck is further reward.
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OK. Erin Noelle just had the biggest stupid moment. I am laughing at my naivety and gullible nature and wish, wish I were smarter sometimes.

Spencer, coming in from cleaning out the boat: "Mom, we need another squirt bottle with that vinegar stuff to wipe the hard water spots. We only have one bottle for the 3 of us."

Erin: "Ok. Let me google this, because I can't remember if we use straight vinegar or what the vinegar/water mix percentage is."

Erin googling it: Hmm..This says 50/50.
On the same page, which describes "natural" ways to clean, Erin scans down the page and sees the words baking soda, lime juice, and yogurt.

Spencer as Erin is filling it with vinegar and water: "Hey mom, I also heard adding baking soda works really well."

Erin blankly: "Oh yeah. That is what I just read I think."

Erin goes to the cupboard and grabs baking soda and proceeds to pour in the bottle. She is surprised when it starts fizzing. "Whoa. This is good. This will work great."

Erin pours more water in the bottle and POW! VOLCANO FORCE ERUPTION SPEWING OUT OF SPRAY BOTTLE. SQUIRTING ALL OVER SINK, ERIN, WALLS, ETC.

Spencer laughing and laughing. "Mom, you are so dumb! I can't believe you just fell for that! Hello! Haven't you ever done the volcano thing with one of us for science?! Oh man, that was the best."

GRRRRRR.

STIR CRAZY

I love the baby. I really do. I could hold her all day, I say, and have been, but right now, I am currently going out of my mind stir crazy. Maybe that's a good sign. A sign that I am personally feeling better, more energy, etc. Whatever it is, everyone is gone today. Everyone but Baby Kate and me. If I stare at these walls one more second, I will go a tad batty.

So, here we go. I am going to go to the library to get a book. I will maybe get a soft swirl cone from Arctic Circle. I will go on another walk tonight. I could even go to a 6p.m. movie at our run down local theater. I actually want to do these things again for the first time. Sweet.

UP AT 6:45 WITH EYES OPEN WIDE

I'm awake at 6:45 and I'm not in a complete fog induced, headachy daze. Bed at 10:30, up from 2-3, and then not again until 6:45. I love these nights. Better than bed at 11:30, up at 2, up at 5.

I'm sitting cross legged and can sleep on my back or my stomach.

I went for a walk two nights in a row, although still slowly and not very far.

I can touch my toes.

I can eat normal food.

I can take a nap anytime I need to due to 4 kids jumping at the chance to hold her while I do.

I am enjoying great dinners with veggies and desserts included. I recommit to return the favor knowing how much it lightens the load.

Feeding issues starting to improve finally. Biggest hurdle is starting to get better. I can see some light up ahead if I just keep going.

3 weeks left of summer. How did it go so fast?

New Hair for Brett

So, imagine you are my husband. It is a day before the birth of your fifth child. You have been trying to sell your company, still running that same company, interviewing and searching for a new job, ripping out downstairs carpet, because of the flood, etc. and helping your extremely uncomfortable wife get things ready for the next day.

You have handled all of the above as well as possible, praising yourself a bit for the control that you have somewhat maintained during this time. You have remained relatively stable and calm-- at least you have conned those around you into believing so.

You have about a half an hour before heading home and decide to get a haircut, a little trim before the baby the next day, because you have a few interviews shortly after and don't know that you will have time over the next few days.

Off to Great Clips you go, because after all, you only have 1/2 hour and they have such great clips, obviously. Otherwise, why the name? Is it that they have great clips as in clippers, or just those clips, or cuts as most would probably say, are so great due to the tremendous skill of the beauticians? One can only guess, but I digress.

As you sit in the chair and put your feet on the little metal feet holder, you feel your body start to relax. Aah. Just 1/2 hour to do something for yourself, away from the needy wife, although you love the heck out of her. You really do.

The woman beautician asks if you want your "regular" cut (or should I say clip?) which means the 'clip' which you usually ask for and is logged on the computer. You have been there a few times in the past and you have had the same haircut for, oh, about 20 years, so you obviously say yes, close your eyes and await for the tactile delights to begin.

Before you can say, "whoa-why the buzzer already?!", she proceeds to buzz down the middle of your head. Army short. Little boy summer buzz short. She doesn't start on the sides or back, but straight down the middle. The following are words directly from my husband...

"I felt big tears start to well up as I completely panicked and looked at what she had done. I wanted to cry like a baby. All of the past few weeks were nothing compared to how I felt as I saw my hair gone with no way of saving it. Total despair."

Apparently, a great clip becomes a sub-par, even lawsuit worthy, clip when said beautician can't see that SPENCER B. is not BRETT B. and that SPENCER B. is 17 and LIKES summer buzz cuts whereas BRETT B. is 41 and does NOT like summer buzz cuts before 3 big interviews. Not at all.

Similar to my reaction to Spencer's black hair, I thought it didn't look pretty, or executive-like, but it didn't look as bad as I thought it would either. The first interview was moved back a week and by then, Brett could barely squeak out a part. Fortunately, the guy he interviewed with had the same haircut. He probably has an account shared with his son at Great Clips too. My sister even commented that the cut, or clip as I love to call it, makes him look hip, younger. Someone has even asked him since, if this baby is his first. Go figure.